Real M.E.N.

Why do men cheat? This question probably ranks in the top 10 of relationship questions, I’m sure, right up there with ‘Why are women so emotional?’ and ‘Why do nice guys finish last?’. Like every question concerning relationships it depends on the couple, and the individuals in the couple. People often see relationships as “we” or “us”, when it is to a certain degree, but in my opinion more about “I” or “Me” ultimately. Relationships are agreement, a contract, some more detailed than others. It can be structured with long-term goals and lifetime benefits, while other relationships are seasonal contracts with “Instant” rewards. You can be in a relationship with your soul mate, but if YOU aren’t ready to accept what he/she has to offer then it will be a constant uphill battle, a losing battle. Women and men cheat for a variety of reasons but under these two relationship umbrellas: Emotional or Physical. Men are likely to cheat with a woman that is the total opposite of their woman, but based off physical attraction. If Devin’s girl is slim, his mistress will be thick. If his woman is a size Double D, then his side chick’s bottom measurements will be a 24-40. Simple. Women however are more about feelings and being appreciated/wanted. Tracy won’t look to cheat on her man, women are naturally loyal. But if Devin’s attention is always elsewhere, Tracy will become subjective to Rodney’s flirting at her job and eventually when the stars aligned just right she’ll give in.

I’ve had quite a few encounters with women who don’t mind being the “Other Woman”. Women that are content with being the 2nd option, short late-night visits, and an outing every so often. They either were between relationships or they weren’t looking for anything too serious.

I’ll elaborate from my experiences, mainly because I know them best and they shape my point of view. I’ve had my share of side women, “appetizers” as one of my homies describes them. They all knew my situation, meaning that I was involved with someone, yet they participated for different reasons. Vivian was on the tail-end of a bad breakup with a cheating boyfriend. She wasn’t ready to begin another relationship, she claimed her “heart couldn’t take the stress”, and that she was more comfortable on this “side” of the love triangle. Misty…She was your typical “I-Can-Do-All-She-Can-And-More” kind of chick. In my eyes she saw me as a challenge, a opportunity to steal another’s man. She claimed she loved me, but in actuality she confused false hopes of conquering someones relationship with love, when it was more of an ego-boost.

I began writing this blog focused around a male’s psyche or reasoning for cheating. However, the more I thought about my personal faults in the past, my friends’ stories, the more I realized that women play a part in our infidelity too. They maybe even help make the act smoother by being tolerative(both by being the woman cheated on or being the side chick). And I’m not saying ALL women, but I do believe every woman has went through this stage of “Accepting”. Has the thought of monogamy been trampled so much that women are becoming content with being the “Other Woman” or the “Forgiving Mate”? Is this the mindset of this generation?..


- Adjasont Thoughts