Real M.E.N.

First off let me say, I enjoy giving my lady friend the nicest of gifts whenever I am able to. There is nothing wrong with showering my lady friend with nice things, right?

Question: If I cannot provide the things she likes will the relationship suffer?

I think one reason why successful black ladies relationship numbers are down is because of the gift giving factor. Speaking solely as a man, I get a sense of happiness when I see my lady happy. When my girl opens that box with those red heels, or sprays on that new perfume I bought her, I get happy. I love it. If I were to see a girl with all the things, that I desire to buy her, already; I would be lost. I would feel like I cannot offer what she likes. This would cause me to stray from the types I believe to be out of my range because I know that I cant make her happy… (Just going by the gift-giving preconceived notion)

Question: Is it worth me breaking my back to try to get her what she likes just to see her happy if we are already together?

Happiness in a relationship is key. I cant help but think that if I were to work extremely hard to try to provide the newest “Sinatra’s”, I wouldn’t be happy. In a relationship I need to be happy as well as my lady. Sometimes, in my generation, a lady is taught that she is the gem, the jewel, the great treasure… That holds true until that thought process cause the relationship to be one sided. I believe that I shouldn’t have to prove my love through gifts, if I cannot afford them.

Side note: Too many times a relationship gets defined by what one can do for the other. I hate that. I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone just because I can afford certain things. Like me for me and you’ll find out that the things you like are some of the things that I like you to have… I.D.