Real M.E.N.

”..Today we going shopping blowing 30 on me, make it 60, spend it like you really love me. You order Chinese food right before you do me..” - Usher

The lyrics above are from a mid-uptempo, seductive, role-playing track off Usher’s 2008 platinum album ‘Here I stand’ entitled “Trading Places”. The song is sexual invitation to his lover that suggests they switch places/roles for a day, and it’s quite vivid. I admire “Trading Places” because it gives both parties a taste of what he/she wants at times. For Men: No pressure of planning, being catered to, no financial worries, and being owned in the bedroom. For Women: POWER, reflecting her appreciation, spoiling her man, controlling situations, and giving her man %100 satisfaction.


However…with that being said…how many women could truly live that lifestyle? Embrace that role? One of my friends and I had this conversation a while back, we called it “The Other Double Standard”. What do we see in most relationships, what is traditionally the main template? The man goes to work, pays the bills, provides a home, takes care of other family expenses, and protects his family. Those are the essential basics.Now let’s say a woman does, not even all of those needs, only half. For instance, she works full-time, pays the bills, her mate/boyfriend is in between jobs, and he only pitches in every now and then. Their Love may get them through some tough times in the beginning, but once that first argument happens, that first dispute, get your ear plugs:


“Why aren’t you calling those employers back instead of going to hoop wit Freddy?! Hooping ain’t paying this light bill!!”
”Don’t have all your ugly little friends in here eating up the groceries that I buy!!”
”Well since you the man, what you have you bought lately to help us?!”


Are her questions/points valid? Maybe. She has a right to question because she has assumed the Power Role. But what I’ve noticed is that women are more likely/prone then men to throw accomplishments and responsibilities in their partner’s face. Say what you want but take time to reminisce about every time you saw a woman putting her man out on the side of the road, or kicking him out of her apartment. I guarantee something to the degree of one of those quotes I mentioned earlier were stated. I guess Janet Jackson spoke the mind of women across the world with her Billboard topping hit “What Have You Done For Me Lately?“…

-Adjasont Thoughts