Real M.E.N.

Weeks were passing, phone conversations became shorter and texts weren’t as frequent. I was partying and drinking more, staying out later. Now I’ve seen women before that I’ve found attractive and intriguing, but my intentions or fantasies would never leave the corners of my mind. For the first time in our relationship I had a single man’s mentality. “Who is she?”, “I have to meet her!!”, “Invite her over tonight.”. My thoughts were now becoming actions, others began to occupy my time, and She noticed.


We talked, She told me she felt I was drifting and asked what was going on with me. Initially I did what all guys do, I downplayed her feelings. I told her that I was focusing on school and catching up in classes. However, She was too smart for that, she wasn’t buying it. I guess in 5 years you get to know someone pretty damn good, and you can sense a lie before it even has a chance to roll off their tongue. She knew there was something else, so I told her. “This ‘no-sex’ thing……it’s wearing on me”. We argued, She asked the obvious questions: “Are u f**kin cheating on me?”, “Is that all our relationship is about? Sex?”. An hour later our convo ended.


Then later that night there was a knock at my door, my friends usually called before they came so I had a strange feeling. I opened the door and there She was; my woman, my Love. I was in complete shock, speechless. She was crying, saying she didn’t wanna lose me. I hugged her, I comforted her and tried to assure her that I wasn’t going anywhere. She began kissing me, squeezing me, moving me closer to the bedroom…..and…..It happened.


Afterwards, my conscience and emotions hit me like a ton bricks. It was after I had received what I wanted, what I felt was most important, that I felt two feet small. Cheap. Manipulative. Evil. A “HAN”. Even now as I write this I feel the exact same way as I did that night. I persuaded someone I Love to jeopardize their beliefs/Faith and newfound relationship with God, for sex.


So is sex in a relationship still important to me? Yes. Does sex make the relationship? In no way, shape, form or fashion. From that lesson I’ve gained a far better perspective on relationships and what it truly means to love someone. Those lessons learned: Compromise. Commitment. Unconditional.


- Adjasont Thoughts